empty

i woke up feeling empty this morning. just one of those days when the hole of missing you seems to take up all the space of me. i think about you all the time. year 2 of no Jeff ever again is almost feeling more difficult than the first. maybe because i feel more alone in missing/thinking about you on a daily basis. i no longer feel like there's a red sign on my forehead announcing your death. i can carry on as if nothing's wrong. as we all do far too often.

around the time of the one-year anniversary of your death, your friends took a river trip together. it warms my heart that they were all together. and now the story is published in the Post. Pretty amazing. You have some wonderful friends. I know you know that, just wish their love and support had felt like enough to keep you afloat a while longer.

yesterday was the 38th anniversary of mom and dad's wedding. pretty amazing. they were 20 and 22 years old, got married in a presbyterian church (much to the horror of dad's catholic family) and had the reception in the fire hall. Grandma Holko apparently got in a fight with Aunt Gloria. my bet would've been on grandma for sure :)

i wished mom a happy anniversary, so if you are with dad, please wish him the same for me. miss you both.

Love you, Jeff.